Author: Mama Coco, one of our amazing Figgi parents
Hey, Figgi fam! So many new parents feel disconnected post-baby. Your hormones are all over the place, neither of you are sleeping well, you’re balancing work and baby, you’re both adjusting to the new normal. It’s hard to be everything to everyone when you’re taking on a major new role as parents. Although it’s a welcome change, it still comes with stressors that can put a temporary strain on your relationship. If you do feel a disconnect between you and your partner, please know you are not alone! It’s so common that it’s actually surprising we don’t hear about it more often.
Here are 5 Figgi Findings that we think can help you reconnect with your partner:
1. Set aside time to talk about your day with one another – You may still be on FMLA or paternity leave while your partner is back at work. Making a conscious effort to connect with one another and talk about your day, beyond “It was alright, how was yours?” can really go a long way. Be present with one another, listen and be patient while you get back to the communication you’ve been craving.
2. Don’t assume all the responsibilities – You are a great parent, but you shouldn’t feel like you need to do it all. This can lead to building resentment. When you’re not receiving adequate sleep in the first weeks of your child’s life and trying to tend to the household, frustrations are bound to bubble over. Talk with your partner about how you can both support one another, what household tasks you can take on vs. what tasks they can be responsible for. Sharing these responsibilities can be vital in reconnecting with your partner. You both will have an active role in tending to the baby and you’ll both likely be less inclined to harbor any resentment toward the other.
3. Plan A Date Day or Date Night – whether it’s weekly or biweekly, set aside time for the both of you to do something fun together. If you have a support system who can watch the baby while you two go out for a lunch date or a dinner date, take them up on the offer! If a weekly date proves too difficult with your schedules or your childcare coverage at first, try for every other week. Having something like a date to look forward to is exciting and gives you both the opportunity to connect with one another on a more intimate level, free of distraction!
4. Quality Family Time – Tis the season! Head to the pumpkin patch together, go apple picking, or spend a Football Sunday cheering on your favorite teams and cooking together. It’s important to have family time together to bond and create memories that you and your child can look back on, warmly. You know the saying, “the days are long, but the years are short” so take lots of pictures and enjoy your moments together.
5. Let go of control and accept help – This could be huge for your relationship and finding time to connect. By allowing others to help you, you take certain stressors off your plate and free up time to do the things you enjoy, either by yourself for a much needed self-care routine or together as a couple. Both are equally important! We need to connect with ourselves and recharge in order to connect with others. Fulfilling our own needs is an important part of being half of a whole, and when we’re at our best we can enjoy the rest. Speaking of rest – make sure you catch up on as much rest as possible when others are able to help watch the baby. Adequate sleep can do wonders for a parent!
These are just some of our suggestions.
Let us know in the comments what works for you and your partner!